Happy Valentine's Day, feet. I took you to Happy Feet Foot Spa today and you will never be the same.

This place is the greatest find ever. It's unbelievable. If you live anywhere near Cupertino, RUN, do not walk to Happy Feet. I am not joking.

Happy Feet Foot Spa
1045 S De Anza Blvd
San Jose, CA 95129
(408) 777-8855

I was driving down De Anza to run an errand at the beginning of January, and all of a sudden I spied the sign for Happy Feet Foot Spa. I had never heard of it before, but the name alone was enough to make me check it out. I had the kids in the car, but I drove slowly in front of the window and saw *One hour foot massage* and a reflexology chart. Hot damn!

For Valentine's Day, Dan and I changed plans last minute and decided to go check out Happy Feet instead of going out to dinner. We called up to make an appointment yesterday. How much was the one hour foot massage? TWENTY DOLLARS. That's right. We were so shocked that he called back and asked again. Same answer. What? No way! Yes. Yes way.

We went to our appointments today (his at 4:00pm, mine at 5:00pm) and it was truly killer. This place is insane, in a great way.

The spa consists of a big room full of reclining massage chairs, almost like a movie theater. It's pretty dark inside, and there is nothing on the walls except a meditation video playing on a flat screen TV. Well, you don't need much more, because your eyes will be closed in bliss, so don't worry.

Dan had his appointment first, then I came an hour later and passed the kids off to him. His eyes were all bleary and he looked drunk with relaxation when I arrived. A good sign. I switched car keys with him and the owner hurried me into my chair.

As soon as I sat down, I was swathed in towels, and my feet were placed in a bucket of VERY hot water. This was the overall motif of the visit...you are exposed to sensation that is very intense, ALMOST to the point of pain, or even a little past it, but it's all good.

At first I was like, "WOW, this water is hot!", but a second later I was loving it.

While my feet were soaking, my masseur got to work rubbing my shoulders, arms, head and hands vigorously. No light prissy touch, this was some serious working out of knots and kinks. I never knew my forearms were so tight!

After 10 minutes or so, he got to work on my feet. I will admit, it was painful in spots when he was digging his knuckles into my arches, but it was also pleasurable. I am not normally a fan of *hard* massages, but even though he was rubbing my feet really hard, I never asked him to ease off. It just felt good.

After the initial hard rub, he took a lighter touch and did my toes, heels, and every single spot on both feet, basically. Then he did my ankles, calves, and knees. Man, it was AWESOME. So blissful. Total relaxation, and incredibly therapeutic.

He finished up my legs and feet by literally *smacking* them with his hands, which again sounds painful, but it felt great, really got the circulation going. I was totally laughing to myself though.

I thought the massage was over, but then he asked me to turn over. I was fully clothed, BTW, I just rolled up my pants, and we were in the room with all the other customers.

So now....the back rub. Holy bejesus. At this point I will reiterate that I am not normally a fan of hard massages. I never get the sports massage or the deep tissue or anything like that. I prefer a nice Swedish.

But this man literally BEAT ME, and it felt great! I have never had such a hard, intense back rub. I don't even know what he was using, his elbow maybe? The knots in my shoulders and back never stood a chance. He literally crushed them into submission.

I was right on the verge of telling him to ease up, but even though it hurt at times, it completely relaxed my back and shoulders, and I could feel knots dissolving under the pressure.

He did ASK me if the pressure was OK, and I said yes, so you can certainly get a lighter massage if you want. I was surprised that I liked it, but I did. My back is really tight, and it was awesome.

At times he dug into my back so hard that I burst out laughing. He probably thought I was a little nuts, but oh well. It just completely cracked me up that I was laying on a table while some strange man absolutely beat the CRAP out of me, and I loved it. He was rubbing me so hard that my mouth was getting smashed into the massage chair face cushion, and I was literally biting it. Yes, there was a disposable slipcover thing on it, but still. Too funny.

Anyway, at the end I felt GREAT. I got up, paid my $20 + $5 tip, and walked out. My shoulders and feet were tingling and my whole body was relaxed.

Dan and I compared notes and we both loved the massage, even the parts that were slightly painful. We are still amazed that it is so incredibly cheap. OK, so you're on De Anza Blvd, and the setting is not so chi-chi, but you know what? For the same price as ONE killer 60-minute massage at Burke-Williams, I can get NINE HOURS of killer massage at Happy Feet, and I think it might even actually be more therapeutic.

Dan asked me who I had for the masseur, and I realized that I didn't even know. I had my eyes closed pretty much the whole time, and once my guy was done, he took off. I couldn't pick him out in a lineup to save my life. Um, he was Asian, like everybody else in there?

I love living near Cupertino. Goddamn...the things you can get. Crazy fruits and vegetables and bizarre snacks and live fish at Lion Market, smelly durian tapioca pearl drinks (and yummy NON-durian pearl drinks), every kind of tea you can imagine, awesome Vietnamese food, and now a kickass hour-long massage for $20. TWENTY BUCKS. I love the Bay Area. Love it.

Hurry up and get over there fast. At these prices, they will either go out of business or else be booked solid. Personally, I plan on going there at least once a week from now on. Actually, when Dan was in there was a woman who had already been there that morning and she was back for a return visit.

Happy Feet. This place ROCKS. Don't miss out. Your body will thank you.

According to the chart below, I have some issues with my intestines. That was the most tender spot on my feet.