I swear, I don't read nearly as much trashy news as I used to, what with two kids and all. But I saw some little excerpt online recently about Marie Osmond getting divorced for the second time recently, and also that she has EIGHT KIDS. OK, 5 of them are adopted, but still. That's EIGHT KIDS. Jesus Christ. TWO are kicking my ass currently, so I can't even comprehend eight. Apparently she had crippling PPD after her third child was born (making seven kids total by that point). Drama!

The tasty news tidbits keep coming. She was apparently just on "Dancing With the Stars" and did some doll routine that was universally panned. I watched it on YouTube, and yeah...it sucks hard. And they did that crap to a Rolling Stones song too. Barf.

Then it turns out that she is this big doll designer who sells a zillions dolls a year on QVC. Personally, I don't like dolls. I find 99% of them creepy. But these? These are WAY creepy. In a hysterical kind of creepiness.

Here is the (I'm not kidding)....Baron Von Beetle Bitty Beauty Bug Porcelain Doll



Baron Von Beetle wears a black and green tuxedo with a green lame bow tie and cummerbund.

Yeah. That green bow tie IS lame.

Even better, she sells a line of dolls that are dressed as clowns. Not only dressed as clowns, but sitting in muffin cups.

Here's the Lemon Poppyseed Rag-a-muffin Doll

Did I mention that I hate clowns *much* more than I hate dolls? I think a doll dressed as a clown is pretty much the worst thing imaginable. The muffin cup thing, I just plain don't get. Not only is that weird and ugly, but according to one reviewer, "I would have given this a 5 star rating, but the muffin cup is poorly made and cracks easily. They should redesign the cups and perhaps use silicone instead."

Wow. Oops, here's another complaint of a cracked muffin cup.

Bummer, I was going to use that in my Easy-Bake oven.