Life is hard lately.

Adrian is still on his Screamfest2007 tour, poor baby. I took him to the pediatrician today for an evaluation and the doctor thinks he has reflux bad enough to prescribe medication. It's basically Pepcid for babies. It won't stop the acid reflux, but it will make it less acid.

His rash is most likely just baby acne + heat rash, so no worries there, except I guess I am putting too many clothes on him at night.

The doctor checked out his umbilical hernia and said it was acceptable, shouldn't be causing him any pain, but then he thought his groin looked a little swollen and he suspects an inguinal hernia as well. He referred me to a pediatric surgeon, then when I called the number today the guy has retired. So now I'm waiting for a second referral. The only upside is that if Adrian has an inguinal hernia, then they can repair his umbilical hernia at the same time. Oh joy.

So first we have a mystery stay in the NICU. Your baby is breathing fast-has low blood sugar-low calcium-anemia but we don't know why.

Now we have a mystery screamer. My baby is screaming or fussing almost every waking moment, but don't know why. Reflux is the best guess, but who knows? Can't tell until I get the medicine into him, but OF COURSE the fucking pharmacy is OUT of Pepcid for babies, so I can't pick it up until tomorrow afternoon.
Yes, I could have gone to another pharmacy, but if you had to go through getting a screaming infant in and out of a car and making additional trips with said screaming infant, you would understand why I thought hard and then nixed the idea. Right now I am wondering how I can avoid the car entirely and keep my travel radius down to a walkable mile or so. Might be possible if it weren't freezing cold and raining.

Did I mention that my back, neck and shoulders are all absolutely killing me from carrying, holding and jiggling a screaming baby all day and all night? I have worn myself out even with my baby carriers. The house is littered with baby swings and vibrating bouncy seats, but they only work for a short while before I have to pick him back up again.

I have moments where I consider just laying him down in his room, shutting the door and letting him cry in order to get a break, but given that crying makes reflux and hernias worse, it's probably not a great idea. At all.

On the plus side, he weighs 11 pounds, 7 ounces today, so at least he is rapidly gaining weight and growing.

I feel like I am losing weight at least, from my no-dairy, no-acidic-fruit diet plus all the baby jiggling. But not sure. My pants feel looser. I stopped drinking my morning tea too, which I really, really miss in my current state of sleep deprivation. I feel like I should do a real elimination diet and just eat turkey and potatoes for a few weeks to see if this misery is caused by my diet somehow. I guess I'll wait until I see if the Pepcid helps. Right now I feel like an all-tequila diet is the appropriate one for me, and I don't even like tequila. Jesus Christ.

Adding to MY misery are Dan being out of town and Julian acting up. I'm sure he's feeling my stress, poor little guy. He has been yelled at plenty lately. Thank god for preschool and Grandma!

The house is still a total wreck, but at least I got a shower yesterday when Grandma Ida came over to give me a break. Too bad Adrian barfed in my hair almost immediately afterwards. I have a stiff clumpy spot in back now. I've just been wearing it up in a bun. My new styling product....baby barf!

There's always the possibility that this fussiness is caused by a fast letdown on my part. My boobs are like firehoses lately. That could cause air swallowing. Or maybe it's nothing at all, just a phase. I doubt it, but I don't know what to think at this point. I'm just crossing days off on the calendar like a prisoner. As each day ends, Adrian gets a little bit older and this too shall eventually pass.

Man, I thought pregnancy was rough. Well, at least I can walk now. My current problem is that I can't sit down or else I get screamed at!

Time to go get Julian from preschool. It is not raining at the moment, so I'll take the stroller and walk there with Adrian . The fresh air will do us good and I can avoid another hellish trip in the car.