Someone hit the off switch on Adrian's screaming Friday. I don't know if it was the probiotics I gave him in the morning, or my dairy-free diet kicking in, or some developmental phase ending, or all of the above, or none of the above.

I know it wasn't the Pepcid, because I hadn't given that to him yet. Apart from that, I don't know much. I just know that he screamed for maybe two weeks straight (lost track of time), all day and during the night too. I know that I forgot what it was like before the screaming began. I forgot what HE was like before the screaming began. I remembered that he *was* mellow at some point, but it was all very fuzzy in my head.

Friday morning was a low point. Dan had been gone for three days and I was *barely* hanging in there, clinging to sanity by a thread. I promised Julian that I would take him to the playground. The weather was finally sunny and warmer, and he was absolutely wild with excess energy.

Unfortunately Adrian was in full scream mode. Even holding him and bouncing him and shhhhhing him was having no effect. I had to put him down in order to put on my clothes, but then the screaming was so bad that I couldn't concentrate on getting dressed. I just stood in my closet paralyzed, listening to him scream. Finally I burst into tears, then went and got some of Dan's earplugs and put them in.

I could still hear the screaming of course, but it wasn't quite so intense with the earplugs in. Then Julian came in and started trying to soothe Adrian by kissing him. I got the bright idea of having Julian hold Adrian in the bed. Not really hold him, but sit back against pillows and have Adrian lean back against him.

It worked! At least for a few minutes, until the novelty wore off for both of them. Adrian started screaming again, then Julian lost interest. But by that time I had my clothes on and had even brushed my teeth. So it was OK. I packed a lunch for us and we took off for the park.

Adrian slept the whole time at the playground in my velour wrap. Julian was having a blast playing with two 4-year-old twin girls. The weather was lovely after days of rain and cold, and being outside in the sunshine was definitely giving my mood a boost.

I was pushing Julian on the swings and one twin was pushing the other next to us. They had on matching pink and purple outfits.

The pushing twin suddenly asked me, "Are you married?
"Yes," I said.
"To who?"
"To Julian's daddy."
"Oh. That's a BIG diamond on your finger."

Hysterical! What four year old notices diamonds?

Anyway, it was getting close to 2:00pm, when Dan's mom Ida was supposed to come over and help me with the kids. SInce we were having such a good time at the park, I called her and suggested that she come down and take over with Julian there, while I went home with Adrian to take a nap.

It was all looking good until Ida arrived to take over, then Julian was suddenly struck down by a massive attack of trapped gas and lay screaming on the grass clutching his stomach. He was also overtired from going to bed late the night before (a whole story in itself) and then waking up early the next morning.

So that was a bust. Julian was plagued with massive gas pains all afternoon, so then HE was the screamer. I barely even noticed the fact that Adrian was calming down. Good thing that Ida was there to help me!

Dan came home that afternoon, so he put Julian to bed that night while I hung out with Adrian. Silence in the house! Adrian smiled and cooed at me. That's right, SMILED AND COOED. I could hardly believe it. It was actually a pleasure to have a little baby for a change, he was so cute and adorable. Who could tell with all that screaming?

So I played with him all evening. We gazed at each other and he made happy little noises. He made the same exact cooing noise that Julian made as a newborn baby, "Ho, ho, ho." And even a thrilled squeal here and there. Wow!

Of course I was over the moon at having a normal happy baby for a change, but it also made me sad to realize that he must have really been in pain this whole time. And here I am, helpless and useless. Putting in earplugs to drown out his screams. Aargh. I mean, I held him and comforted him as much as I physically and mentally could, so I don't feel that bad, but still. Poor little baby.

Yesterday was Saturday. We went out and walked around downtown Los Gatos, and had lunch in the plaza park there. Adrian napped the entire time on my front in his wrap carrier. He was totally sacked out for at least 3-4 hours.

When we got home he woke up, was fairly happy again, then went back to sleep on my lap for 2-3 hours while Dan and I watched "AI", which was entertaining despite gaping plot holes big enough to drive a truck through. The presence of Jude Law as a robo-gigolo made up for everything though. I don't think he's all that sexy in real life, but he sure is a hottie in that flick. Hmm, I just read that he had a prosthetic jaw applied in that movie. Maybe that's why he looked so much better? Eye makeup helps too.

Big mistake to let Adrian sleep that much before bedtime. He woke up at 3:00am fussy as all get out. He wanted to be walked around with the light on so he could look around and stare at everything, but I didn't want him to wake up more, so I turned on the nightlight as a compromise and jiggled him in the bed without getting out of it. I was just too exhausted to move any more. I changed his diaper and that was that. No more walking for Mommy. Somewhere in the middle of his fussing I went back to sleep.

He woke up again at 6:00am, which was close enough to Julian's wakeup time to get HIM out of bed. This time Adrian was snuffling again, and breathing fast. I squirted some saline in his nose and a giant booger came out. Where in the hell did that come from? Is he still stuffy from the cold a zillion weeks ago? What is this nightly mucus thing? I cannot even begin to keep up.

Whose idea was it to have these kids anyways? It's either pure joy or a torment, nothing in between. Absolutely no middle ground.

So for today I don't know what to expect. Adrian has been somewhat fussy, but not as bad as previously. Not as calm as yesterday. He had a weird vinegar-smelling poop this morning. Not that that necessarily has ANYTHING to do with ANYTHING, but I'm noting all potential weirdness at this point. I'm just desperate for ways to chill him the fuck out.

Well, he has had his Pepcid, his gripe water, and his probiotics this morning. I stopped giving him iron, thinking that might be upsetting his tummy, but I should start back up soon before he gets too anemic again.

Right now he's napping in his swing. Julian finally stopped yammering right next to him and went in his room to do something. Probably set the house on fire, but at least he's quiet.

OK, must take advantage of this brief quiet spell to clean our disgusting kitchen and make some lunch. I'm attempting my first hike in a long time today this afternoon. I hope I don't completely poop out, but I want to get some exercise and get my strength back. I can't deal with these kids in my current flabby, weak state. It's too hard on my back and shoulders.

Next week I'm hoping to go back to my yoga class on Sunday. Dan got me my postpartum gift of a Timbuk2 yoga bag yesterday, so now I just need a new mat and I'm all set.

Off to chore.