This just happened to me, it's a good example of the kinds of situations I'm finding myself in as a new mom of two.

THE SCENE
I suddenly realize that I have to pee.

Julian is running around chasing the dog with my Pikstik grabber. I yell at him to stop, but then I remember how Bugs barreled past him the other day and knocked him over, so I reconsider. Bugs probably deserves it.

I go in the bathroom and realize the challenge ahead of me. I am wearing Adrian in the Ergo carrier on my front, which is sort of a barrier to undressing to begin with, but I also am wearing a MOST unfriendly set of garments for someone who needs to pull her pants down.

Apart from the baby strapped to my chest, I am wearing:
1) A pair of maternity pants. No biggie there...
2) My industrial strength girdle, complete with hook-and-eye crotch. Challenging to undo even when I don't have a baby strapped to me.
3) The most challenging: fishnet hotpants that are holding a maternity-sized menstrual pad to my body. These are pulled up past my navel, so once I manage to unsnap my girdle I will have to reach way up inside it to pull the fishnet hotpants down.

I tried a regular pad in regular underwear (and tampons too), but it just wasn't doing the job. I had 4-5 nasty leaks before deciding to go back to the fishnet-hotpants-with-supersize-maternity-pad system. If it's good enough for me when I'm in the hospital, I'll bet it will work just fine at home too. And guess what, it does!

I will be very, very sad when I run out of hospital pads and/or fishnet hotpants. I'm realizing that I should have really stocked way up on this stuff when I was in the hospital. Then again, I'm not planning on bleeding like a stuck pig FOREVER or anything, but it would be helpful.

Realizing how many layers of difficulty I have to deal with just to PEE makes me have to pee ten times worse. Now all of a sudden it's a really urgent situation instead of just something that seemed like a good idea.

I start pulling down, unhooking, fishing around, unsnapping. With much snagging of hooks on fishnet, I do manage to get my crotch finally exposed enough to be able to sit on the toilet. I even manage to avoid dropping the supersize pad in the toilet, which was my frustrating event du jour when I was in the hospital.

I sit down and pee. Hooray! And then...the doorbell rings.

Bugs explodes in a frenzy of barking. Goddamn that dog! Julian starts in too.
"Mama, who is at the door! Can I OPEN the door?"
"No, you cannot open the door! Wait until I get my pants up!"

Shit, shit. I yank up the fishnet hotpants, hoping that the pad is somewhere close to where it should be. I miraculously hook the girdle closed somehow. Then I pull my pants up, pull down my sweater, and hope that I don't have underwear (or a semi-used pad) hanging out inappropriately somewhere.

Julian is waiting next to the door with baited breath. He was going through a most unpleasant phase where he was actually opening the door whenever the doorbell rang, but we cured him of that in a BIG hurry, I assure you. (After having Julian answer the door with me undressed, or nursing his baby brother, or going to the bathroom, for example). So now he just yells out, "Mama! Someone's at the door! Mama! Someone's at the door!"

There is no hope of ever pretending that I'm not home again. If the Mormons or Jehovah's Witnesses come by, we are really screwed.

I open the door and find...NOBODY!
Oh but wait, there *is* a lovely bag of tasty treats left outside the door!

My fabulous moms' group has been bringing us food regularly and this was the latest delivery. So there was definitely a happy ending, but the process itself was a bit rough.