I got my Abdominal Brief Recovery Kit the other day by FedEx Expedited Delivery. No messing around, they must figure that if you order this stuff you need it FAST.

It's nicer than I expected, especially since I got it in black, which makes it look less like an Abdominal Brief Recovery Kit and more like a Retro Fetish Gear Kit. Wish I could try it on, but this belly isn't fitting into *anything* at the moment, especially not a garment designed to compress it.

But the best part is the Bonus Garment. I didn't pay much attention to this when I was ordering the kit, since there were no photos of it and it just says this: "The Thong Support Garment is provided as a bonus free product that normally sells for $12 outside the Kit. This garment helps minimize swelling that can descend downward to one’s private region.". I mean, what is that all about?

Well, I get my kit and "Thong Support" is actually a euphemism for the real name of the garment, which is Labial Support Thong.
Labial support? Holy frijoles, has it gotten as bad as that? But really, it's just a black mesh thong, a little stiffer and less stretchy than normal.

And what am I supposed to do with it? Wear it over the girdle-thingy? I guess so, if I ever plan on going to the bathroom successfully. I don't remember having any "swelling in my private region" last time around, but then again a C-section is a bit different from a tummy tuck or liposuction, so maybe those types of surgeries have a greater chance of giving you a fat lip, so to speak. Or fat lips, actually.

The whole thing is just too funny. I have the thong on my dresser and I can't seem to put it away because I chuckle to myself every time I see it. And lord knows, I need a good chuckle right about now.