msLaura: Modern Mama Laura Hamilton + Dan Baker = Julian Hamilton Baker & Adrian Hamilton Baker "When a woman tells the truth she is creating the possibility for more truth around her."
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« Going home | Main | Julian visiting Mama in the hospital »


Family of Four, originally uploaded by mslaura.

I have been home from the hospital since Saturday afternoon, and it's a little rough. Thank goodness my mom has been here to help out or I think I would be REALLY stressed out and sleep-deprived right now.

Julian has been doing just great. He is very loving and gentle with his new baby brother. At first he was so excited that he couldn't stop touching his face and hands and feet, etc. It was tough to get him to back off in a nice way, and that's when I noticed his nose starting to run....

Yes, another goddamn COLD. In its most infectious stage, right when I'm bringing my newborn with respiratory issues home from the NICU. My heart sank, and I had another good cry. Luckily taking odorless garlic oil has worked to keep colds from spreading to the rest of us for the last two colds that Julian has had, so I immediately started pounding garlic oil capsules and praying that the effects would go through my milk to Adrian.

Julian was of course wanting to sleep with Mama after almost a week away from me, and that was a bit tricky. I kept him on one side of me, and Adrian on the other, and it seemed to work out OK. It woke Julian up the first night when Adrian cried, and when I got up to change his diaper. Then he wanted to help, and talk, and pet his baby brother. Very normal, but I just desperately wanted to go back to sleep.

The next day my mom arrived, cooked up a storm, played with Julian, held Adrian, changed diapers, read Julian bedtime stories, and put him to sleep. He did get up in the middle of the night to come to my bedside and cry to sleep with Mommy, which was another heartbreaking moment, but Mom was able to distract him with the promise of a glass of milk, more bedtime stories, and a special bear cave built at the foot of his bed out of covers. That was a fairly decent night's sleep. Adrian woke up to nurse a few times, I changed his diaper twice, but otherwise I slept.

Yesterday we hung out, had breakfast, Julian practiced his golf game with Daddy in the front yard while I tried out my cozy velour wrap with Adrian. (Happily, I LOVE it. It's totally comfortable to wear, and really warm. I am a kick-ass wrapmaker, if I do say so myself! ;-)

In the afternoon Mom stayed in with Adrian on her lap and an emergency bottle of pumped milk by her side while we took Julian out to the playground with visiting friend Laura Knapp and her boys Langston and Lachlan. She gave me some pointers on handling two kids at once. Preschool, mid-afternoon quiet time, etc.

Later on all hell started to break loose again when Julian's two-day tummyache started to turn into explosive diarrhea. His nose stopped running, but then his butt started in. Poor thing. Again, luckily my mom was there to hold Adrian while I wiped up poopy butt and emptied potties. And again in the middle of the night when Julian woke up with more explosive diarrhea, just as I had de-fussed Adrian and gotten him latched on properly

Adrian has this funny thing where he is dying to nurse but can't latch on for some reason. He just won't close his mouth and start sucking.I have had some luck with just pulling him in towards me, but not always. I think it may be due to some lingering engorgement on my part that makes it hard for him to latch. We'll see. I am much less engorged now, boobs are softened up again, but still swollen of course.

So last night Julian's poop episode came just as I had gotten Adrian latched on properly and he was eating like a starving man. Thank goodness Mom was there.

I took Julian into bed with me after that. Poor thing had just pooped his brains out, and I figured he would be sad if I sent him away, so he came in and went right to sleep on the other side of me. I had to switch sides after a certain point because Adrian and I had been laying on the same side all night long, Julian ended up next to Adrian, with my arm acting as a protective barrier, but he was very gentle and good. No kicking, no flailing, he rested his hand next to Adrian very gently and kissed his head. So maybe co-sleeping will be feasible again. It's so easy compared to the other options. I have a little sidecar crib that I can use if need be, but it's so cold in our house at night, and I would have to lift Adrian out of there to nurse him, then stay awake to put him back just doesn't make sense to me.

Mom left today and I fell apart a little bit, but Dan is wonderful. He has been watching Adrian this morning while I print out shipping and packing labels for incoming orders. Why I only took a week off, I don't know. Well, I wasn't expecting Adrian to be in the NICU for five days, or any of that stress and strain. At least I can nurse Adrian while I'm on the computer, and Dan has promised to help with shipping and packing up orders. I do need the money, I've spent all my savings on new baby supplies and food reserves and hospital copayments and all that. I need some income and business is booming, I can't really afford to turn it away.

Well, at least I'm settling in here at home and not longing to go back to the hospital where all I have to worry about is shuffling over to the NICU every three hours or so.'s so easy in the hospital in comparison with trying to juggle everything at home. I can't even remember to take my ibuprofen every 6 hours. I keep forgetting and then wondering why my incision is so sore.

I slept without my C-section girdle last night and this morning I felt like my guts were about to spill out. Man, I am so glad I bought that thing. I almost feel normal when I have it on. Without it my back hurts, my belly billows out, and I definitely feel myself to be in imminent danger of gut-busting. An incredibly disgusting feeling. Sitting up in bed becomes a painful challenge, whereas with the support on it's just annoying.

Well, I just heard Adrian squirt some poop into his diaper, so better get him changed. Oh, by the way, our fabulous baby boy has already pooped and peed in his potty several times. It's challenging to hold him on the potty since he is small and floppy, plus his penis points straight up and needs, ahem...redirection. But we have saved quite a few diaper changes and eliminated some fussiness by pottying him when his diaper comes off. He poops all the time, not in any identifiable pattern yet, so poops are harder, but he has definitely figured out already that the potty is for peeing in. Mom even got him to pee on his potty this morning. Very impressive! Big pees too...and he hasn't peed on the changing table since we initiated pottying, whereas he was peeing on the changing table almost every time in the NICU.

I'm just keeping our ECing low-key for now and doing it when it's convenient, but I'm glad I have already been through it with Julian and have good experience under my belt. It's nice to have options, and being constantly peed on during diaper changes is the least attractive one compared to simply holding Adrian over his potty after I take his diaper off.

After diaper change and potty, it's time for lunch and then Adrian's first well-baby checkup with Dr. S. After that, shipping...and I think that's a busy enough day.

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