1) My child is totally zombied out in front of Nickelodeon because it's the only way I can think of to keep him quiet and happy in my grandmother's house, and at least he isn't breaking anything, or jumping off the couch, or on my belly. I am mentally swearing to myself that he will not watch ANY TV for weeks when we get home, and feeling like a terrible mother.

My grandmother says every five minutes or so, "Oh, look at how he just stares and stares at the TV. Isn't that something? He just loves it." Like it's an adorable marvel, instead of his young impressionable brain turning into mush.

2) The smell of the hospice. Combine one part pee, one part shitty diapers, one part cafeteria food. I can't take it for more than five minutes. When I walk in it hits me like a brick wall, I just want to turn and run screaming out the door.

3) Playgrounds with no kids on them.

4) We arrive at the playground and there are tons of kids, but they all leave within the first ten minutes after we arrive.

5) Playgrounds with a group of older kids who all know each other and don't want to play with my little boy.

6) Being crippled and hugely pregnant and trying to keep a 3-year-old safe in strange public places without a stroller or being able to carry him for more than a minute.

7) Stores like JC Penney that don't offer shopping carts when I have to buy a giant amount of stuff and am in the above circumstances of having to keep a 3-year-old safe and contained when crippled and pregnant.

8) Asking for a shopping cart at JC Penney and being told by a smiling clerk, "No, but we have shopping bags!"

9) Dirty carpet. God, I hate it. I hate wall-to-wall carpet in general. It just gets dirtier and dirtier, until eventually you have to replace it. So nasty. I hope to never ever live anywhere again that isn't all hardwood floors. You can spill on them, you can wash them clean with a mop. They rarely ever wear out or look nasty.

10) WHITE wall-to-wall carpet. Just so you can see all the dirtiness more clearly.

11) White wall-to-wall carpet in BATHROOMS. Whose brilliant idea was that?

12) Being depressed and overwhelmed, even temporarily.

13) Having to count the days until I can be somewhere else.