We went to a birthday party for our friend Dan T. the other day. There were lots of kids there.

One girl, about 4 years old, was named Yulia. I don't know if you spell it that way, but that's how it was pronounced. Anyway, Julian was playing with her in a playhouse outside, and generally having a blast. He loves older women.

Yulia's mom was a little cold at first, but later on she warmed up after they had been playing together for about 45 minutes straight, at which point she asked me what my son's name was. "Julian," I said. She nodded.

Later on it was time to light the birthday candles and blow them out. Everyone was standing around, and Yulia's mom was nice enough to relight the candles after Dan was done with them, and then lift Julian up so that he could blow them out too. For him, that's the whole point of a birthday, even more so than eating cake. The candles are the crucial component.

Everyone was still standing around the cake and one person asked Yulia, "Is your name Yulia or Julia?"
"YOO-lia!" she replied.
"That's right," said this person, whom I hadn't met. "Yulia is a much better name than Julia. Julia is not a good name at all."

The little group of...Israelis, I think they were, kept nattering on about how Yulia was the best name and Julia was an ugly, horrible name in comparison. Every time they said "Julia" with their accents, Julian kept looking to see why they were talking about him and saying his name was ugly.

I felt like telling them to shut the fuck up. Julia AND Julian were both FANTASTIC names, and what the hell was their problem anyways?

But whatever. We were about to leave anyway, and I probably wouldn't ever see these people again. So I didn't say anything. But now I wish I had, of course.