I was browsing through Overheard in New York today. People report funny snippets of conversation that they overhear in various places.There are some gems there, for sure.

Like this one:

Dear Diary, Reynolds Admitted He Loves Me Today! Well, Almost.

Girl: Why don't you ever invite me to the dorms?
Guy: 'Cause if you wanna come, you should ask.
Girl: Well, do you want me to come over?
Guy: If I don't have to study, yeah.
Girl: Well then you should invite me!
Guy: Why?
Girl: 'Cause it would make me happy!
Guy: What the hell do I care?
Girl: Well, you wouldn't go down on me if you didn't want me to be at least pleased.
Guy: That...is probably the best argument you could have made.
Girl: I'm so glad no one speaks English on this train.

--1 Train

Love it. And this one too:

When Narcissists Converse

Queer: Oh my God, I hope that guy over there thinks I'm cute.
Hag: Oh no, I hope I'm not pregnant.

--Uptown 1 train

and this, because I can relate to how she feels:

What If I Get a Long Identifying Number on My Forearm?

Guy: So you don't think neck tattoos are sexy?
Girl: No.
Guy: What do they make you think of?
Girl: Prison.
Guy: What if I get my name in Hebrew?
Girl: Jewish prison.

--10th & Ave B