Time to snap out of my black post-election depression and get on with things. There's work to be done. Things are what they are. Doesn't help to sit around crying about oh, say...the possibility of 3 Bush-selected Supreme Court Justices. You just have to buck up and start fighting.

This kind of fight is a hard slog uphill. It's on the same scale as the battles in The Lord of the Rings. Basically, it's Good vs. Evil. Very heavy odds stacked against Good. But the good LOTR guys did win in the end, despite heavy losses and widespread devastation of the environment. I just hope there's a fairy-tale ending for Good in real life. It sure feels like Evil has the upper hand right now.

Cute babies work well to lighten the mood. Julian is such a crackup lately. He can crawl forwards and backwards now. Not very fast, but he can certainly get around. He is having a big mobility burst...crawling, scooting, pulling himself up on things. It's so much fun to watch him monkey around and explore things that he couldn't get to before.

He is fascinated by the cabinets underneath the TV. He makes a beeline for each cabinet, opens it up and starts taking out the videos that we keep inside. He examines each one carefully, then puts it aside and takes out the next.

The teething and cold combined made for a tough couple of weeks. Poor Baby J was not feeling good at all, and became correspondingly fussy and sleepless. When Baby's not happy, Mama's not happy. It goes both ways. If Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy...but a miserable baby makes for a miserable mama. Poor J wasn't having any fun and he wasn't sleeping either. All he wanted to do was nurse, but his sore teeth also make him want to gnaw a little to relieve the discomfort. That gets old *fast*, believe me.

We all still have runny noses and coughs. This cold really sucks. It fades in and out. Just when you think you're getting better, you wake up the next morning with a sore throat and reach for a tissue. Julian's nose will be dry all day, then the next day it runs like a faucet. Damn cold just keeps hanging on.

Julian loves to pull himself up on the headboard of the bed and stand there. Then he runs his hand up and down the IKEA rattan, which makes an interesting percussive sound, almost like a washboard.

Last night I sat him on the bed over by the headboard so that he could pull himself up. Once he was standing I came slowly towards his leg and kissed and bit it, then pulled back again. Every time I came at him to bite his leg and kiss his belly he squealed his brains out in anticipation. He couldn't let go of the headboard, so he had to let me come and bite his thigh. Then he got more confident of his balance and used one hand to try to fend off the tickle brigade. That threw him off, he started doing a wobbly wiggle of pelvic thrusts while holding onto the headboard with one hand, and the other in the air like he was riding a mechanical bull. It was so funny it made me kiss his belly more until we both were laughing hysterically.

He is a funny little guy. He always gets physical jokes. Songs, peekaboo games, surprises...they crack him up. It's very funny when the teacher at school sings a song to him, it's funny when I toss a little soccer ball into his lap quickly over and over, it's funny when the dog runs into the room squeaking his toy. He also loves to look at other babies and kids. A photo of a smiling baby or small child will send him over the moon, he looks at it and smiles at it and can't get enough of it.

We're having such a good time (and he's changing so fast) that I don't see why I'm bothering to go to work. I don't have anything to do most the time when I'm there, and anything that does come up I can take care of from home on my laptop. Honestly, the only reason I go into the office at all is because I have to pay for daycare a minimum of 2 days/week to keep Julian's spot there. That and my respect for Peter. While he's my manager, I think it looks better for him if I show up on a regular basis. But once he's gone, there's no point. I may just give up Julian's spot in daycare, I don't know yet. I have to think about it. It would save me a lot of money. But it saves me a lot of anguish knowing that I can leave him with a teacher he knows AND where he has a good time playing with his friends. Once he leaves, his spot will be taken, and I don't have any other childcare options. It's a tough decision.

Dan and I bid on an incredible house in the neighborhood and didn't get it. The winners bid $50K over the asking price and offered cash. So we rode a wild roller coaster for a few days, imagining ourselves living in this fantastic house, then it was all over and our hopes were dashed. Kind of like the election.

But it got a fire lit under us to make our dreams happen and find a home for the long-term. Not that our townhouse isn't nice, it is. But there's no yard, and we've taken it as far as we can go. I have my eye on a cottage right in downtown Campbell (which is cute and funky and not overly gentrified yet) on an amazing *half acre* of land. You can walk to shops and restaurants, even Trader Joe's and Safeway! Also parks and trails nearby, and TRAIN TRACKS. I do love to hear a train go by...what a soulful sound. The house is almost abandoned right now and needs a lot of work, but has great historical character and excellent bones. It's small, but we could easily add on to it. There's a barn/garage out back that would make a great office/workshop/playroom and look great fixed up too. And there's a chicken coop! Good school district...farmers' markets on Saturdays one block away. It potentially has everything we want. We just need to get them down on price so that we have some money to remodel. And we need somewhere to stay while fixing the place up enough to live in it.

Dinner, dinner...what to make for dinner. I am making some crappy dinners lately, that's for sure. I've got little money for groceries with my puny paycheck, but I do get my weekly organic veggie box. Unfortunately the veggie box has all the veggies that Dan hates right now...kale, chard, acorn squash and green beans. I also don't have a lot of time to make meals. We're eating very healthy, but it's very simple fare, and not quite up to our previous standards. Oh well.

Speaking of dinner, I guess I had better get a move on while Julian is sleeping. Ooops, spoke too soon, there he is chirping like a baby bird from the other room....