I had my weekly midwife appointment yesterday. Veronica did a pelvic exam and my cervix is still closed tight as a drum and tissue is firm/fleshy, so looks like no baby anytime soon. She said her best guess is that I have two more weeks to go. I don't know how much more nesting fever I can take, I am running out of things to organize and clean...LOL!

She commented that I have very little fat on me, which seems crazy since I feel so HUGE. I clomp around like a drunken Godzilla and my pre-pregnancy pants don't even fit halfway up my thighs anymore. I have gained 56 pounds so far and I was not underweight to begin with, though not overweight either. Plus I am eating like a madwoman...all the time. I'd like to say that it is *all* healthy food, most of it is, but I eat plenty of chocolate and ice cream too, uh, just to supplement and not get malnourished or anything ;-) Baby needs ice cream! I am retaining a lot of water now though, my legs and ankles look pretty puffy, and my hands look all puffy as well. I read that this is a good thing, that you *should* be moderately puffy at this late date, because that means you have a lot of water stored up so you don't get dehydrated during labor. It's not fun having cankles though. But right after delivery the extra water all goes away, so I hear.

Hey, if Veronica says that I don't have any fat on me, I'm not going to argue with good news. Hopefully this means I will get back to my original weight pretty easily after delivery. I am still astonished that I weigh almost 200 pounds. I weigh 25 pounds more than Dan now, and outeat him at every meal! Crazy. I still look OK from the back though, I even still have a waist from that angle. But I have pretty much lost all frame of reference as to what I am supposed to look like anymore. I thought my ankles looked relatively OK yesterday before I went out for a walk, but then I tried to zip up my boots and it just wasn't happening. And my Birkenstocks were tight. You know you're poofy when your Birkenstocks feel tight, for cryin' out loud. I gave myself a pedicure yesterday though. Not without some serious effort, but at least my swollen feet are well-groomed.

Baby Julian has dropped, but his head has not yet engaged to lock him into place. Veronica said since I have a long torso and little fat around him to hold him in place *and* he is VERY active, she is a bit worried that he might move out of his perfect head down, facing inward position. She is going to do a pelvic on me every week to check him. Yikes! My breech fears are suddenly back! Don't you dare move out of that position baby! Squirm all you want, but STAY head down, please! I would be heartbroken if I had to go to the hospital after all this. I can't WAIT to have a home birth! Just got a report from one of the women on the home birth mailing list that I'm on. She delivered her baby boy at home with two midwives and had a wonderful, easy time of it. It was a great experience. I'm so excited...but looks like I am in for a bit of a wait. Dang. Oh well, more time to putz around and do little projects and keep getting paid my Yahoo! salary all the while, so as long I'm not too uncomfortable it's OK. I started doing my taxes yesterday. Gee, maybe I can even get some jewelry made. Also gives me time to sew a baby carrier that I have been coveting. It will come in handy when Julian gets to be a little bit older and we want to go on hikes and longer walks. The other slings I have are great, but for hiking I need more weight distribution. I have the pattern and some beautiful silk fabric, looks like I'll have the time now.

I am really enjoying my quality time with Bugs. He loves having me home all day, although I'm sure he wishes I could still take him on long hikes like we did all summer. But the weather has been crappy, and I can only manage an hour walk on flat ground. Still, we nap together and he goes with me wherever I can take him. A good dog is just priceless. I would *love* to spend more quality time with Dan, but he is under massive pressure from his company to close deals, meet his quota for the quarter, and write a zillion sales reports in the meantime. He is being micromanaged to death right now, poor thing, so he is all stressed out and preoccupied and not his usual fun silly self. It pretty much sucks, but what can you do? He's dying for the baby to come so he can take two weeks of paternity leave and forget about work for a while.

Oh, I got a letter from my former OB-GYN yesterday, she is quitting her practice as of February 19th! I am SO glad that I switched to my midwife. Imagine if I had stayed with the OB-GYN and done a hospital birth...I wouldn't even know if she were going to be around or not! If I go two weeks over my due date (which could happen), I would have a total stranger delivering my baby. Everything happens for a reason, doesn't it? I feel like this whole pregnancy has been so lucky and so fateful. Hopefully it continues on that track.