I finally had some cramping in the middle of the night. The very first sign I've had so far
that this baby is even close to arriving!

I went to my weekly midwife appointment this morning, but no midwife...she was at a birth. Her assistant Rebecca checked me over instead (she's also an R.N.).
Julian shifted position and we were having a tough time figuring out what
was where. Rebecca did an exam and there was a little bit of bloody
show, plus she said I was a bit softer inside, so looks like things are
progressing, but it could still easily be another week or so. The troublesome part was that Rebecca couldn't seem to confim that he is
still head down. She thinks so, but wants Veronica's expert
confirmation. I may have to go get an ultrasound just to be sure that he is not
breech...noooo!!! That would be terrible after he has been head down for so
long.

So the reason that Veronica was out this morning is that she had an emergency
transfer from another midwife. A woman was expecting her first baby at 39
weeks along, had her mom in town for two weeks, and wanted to speed things
up a little so that she could deliver while her mom was here. So she dosed
herself with castor oil without consulting with anyone.

Well, it was a disaster. She started dilating from the castor oil, but
aparently castor oil just dilates your cervix without thinning it out
(effacing), so unless you have accompanying hormonal action and your body is
already ready to go, the baby can't come out! Really bad thing to take when
your body is not really ready to deliver. So she has been having a terrible
time. She has horrible diarrhea on top of everything else (it's a very powerful laxative) and they are
worried about her dehydrating too much.

Veronica is over there right now treating her with Pitocin in an attempt to
get her cervix thinned out enough to finish the job. She's sort of stuck
halfway, and hopefully her uterus doesn't get exhausted or else she will
have to be transferred to the hospital for a c-section.

Going to have lunch with a girlfriend today. Got my car totally washed and
vacuumed from top to bottom yesterday and stocked up with even MORE
groceries, installed the car seat. My pantry is *packed*! I'm definitely
ready for this baby. It's weird knowing that he might be another week or
even TWO away! Oh well. He'll come when he's good and ready.

Oh no...Veronica just called me up and said that she just got in and heard
about the baby having moved around, and that from what Rebecca told her
about where the strongest heartbeat is, she suspects he might now be breech.
She said she was concerned about this last week, since he was so active and
his head was not fully engaged in my pelvis yet to "lock" him in.

So now I have to get an ultrasound ASAP this afternoon, to see where the
baby is. If he is breech, she cannot deliver me. I have to go to the
hospital and have a C-section. How awful. He *does* feel like he is in a
weird position since yesterday when he was moving around like crazy, but I
just thought maybe he had dropped down more or engaged.

I am doing pelvic tilts like crazy right now, moving between rolling around
on my birthing ball and laying on the floor with my hips up on pillows until
it's time for my ultrasound....which, to make matters worse, is $240!

Come on baby, PLEASE don't be breech. Just do this one thing for me and I'll
take care of the rest.

I know I am supposed to be prepared for any kind of delivery, and you
don't always get what you want, but I will be just SO sad and devastated if
I have to go to the hospital and have a C-section. I suppose I should just
start thinking about a healthy living baby being the only thing that
matters, but still...the prospect of going to the hospital and being sliced open under anesthesia, then having to recover from major surgery afterwards, yikes.